Monday, November 8, 2010

Pure Grief

If I were to write a book on the experience of losing Theresa to ovarian cancer, after more than 25 years together, I would call it “Pure Grief”. Jesus said, “Blessed (happy) are those who mourn…” Matthew 5:4. He did not say blessed are those who are fearful or angry or lethargic or clinging to the past… the list goes on.

When destructive emotions and tendencies are pealed away from grief, what is left is nothing other than love for the person who has departed. When the heart is filled with love for another, there is a sweetness to it. The heart was made to be filled with love and fighting to keep it that way must be the most important task in grief, for as the emotions go so goes the rest of life.

It wouldn’t be fair to publish such a book until I had successfully navigated the first year of grief, but I want to confess this as my goal. I want to prove the validity of my faith and it’s content. I want this experience to provide evidence that God’s word makes the best sense of life and death. We will all have to face grief. My goal is to make your grief the most blessed experience it can be and in so doing bring glory to the God who leads his children through it.

If you are not a believer, I encourage you to steal all the ideas from the Bible that seem useful to you and in so doing you will be following this command: Psalms 34:8 Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Andy,
I am not sure I understand. Anger can be a part of grief as can listlessness, overwhelming fatigue -these are all normal responses - when a heart full of love is weighed down by the power of loss. Does God say this is not normal or part of the process?
I have been in a place where I felt like I lost everthing and everyone who meant anything to me and through whom I defined myself and my life. I experienced that without God. I now get the difference and see how not being a believer made the sorrow last so much longer and the fear permeated my life in a deeper and longer way than was healthy. Maybe it is my clinical background talking - I do think all emotions are OK in terms of navigating the very rough seas of loss. The caveat I guess is stay connected to Him who loves us more than we could ever imagine.
Did I misunderstand?
HB
Know you and your family are lifted to God every day.

Anonymous said...

Thanks HB Yes - "Normal" and "Ok" --I guess - for a time, but not good or healthy, not our prescribed goal.

I will write more, but for now look at this one who feels low, but fights for joy.

Ps 42:5 Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Saviour and my God.
A.

Anonymous said...

Andy....
Just read your latest post...and I believe that any emotion right now is OK... no one emotion comes at a specified time in a specified way...Yes there are stages to go through, & sometimes they will come in waves...Just continue to Roll with it Andy...I believe u can do this...

By the way, you and your family is always on my prayer list....

Thank you for this blog...(because
your church family gets to 'see' how u r doing)...Take Care