Monday, December 21, 2009

Single and Satisfied?

Can life-contentment be attained in the ongoing absence of ultimate human intimacy?

1 Corinthians 7:7 I wish that all men were as I am. (content and engaged in life’s purpose, without having my pursuit of holiness sabotaged by the distress of longing for sexual intimacy.) But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

Paul is almost-undoubtedly single again - and satisfied. He is living independent of a sexual relationship and happy, even enviable and wishes we could all be just like him. But alas, that is impossible.

Paul states that the pursuit of a particular marital status should be determined by giftedness and not be seen as a matter of spiritual attainment. Paul wishes everyone could receive from God what is required to cheerfully lay aside the human sex-drive and be single and satisfied as opposed to being dependent upon regular holy sex in order to avoid immorality. However, part of the pursuit of holy joy for those who have not received this spiritual gift of sexless satisfaction, will include marriage.

1 Corinthians 7:5 Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

If you don’t have the gift of satisfied celibacy, you will suffer the results of unfulfilled desire, if and when you are not being satisfied by your spouse. Some of our relational needs God satisfies directly and some he satisfies by the use of means and when those means are removed, we will suffer. Suffering includes not being able to find or create a comfortable conclusion. It means wrestling and struggling with unmet desire. It brings us back to Christ and requires growth in our theology of suffering with-and-for Him.

1 Pe 4:13 But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.

Ro 5:2 …we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

1Pe 1:6 for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honour when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9 for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Can, or could the “all-satisfying” relationship with Christ subdue the sex drive? Can a human being attain this single and satisfied state by becoming more spiritual? In this world where things are not as they should be (James 3:10) the answer is. No. Knowing this will rescue us from the unrealistic guilt of “not being spiritual enough”. It should also cause us to know that without God’s provision of a spiritual gift, or a spouse, we will suffer. The fight for God-glorifying joy, requires choosing to suffer, when we must, with and for Christ.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

I Don’t Believe In This World Anymore

Coming to the place where one experientially loses faith in this world as the source from which our desire for joy will be met, may sound like pessimism and a loss of hope and in some sense it is, though it is justified. This loss of faith in this world is the starting place for the fullness of our hope to be placed in that which cannot disappoint.

Jonathan Edwards prayed: Lord, grant that from hence, I may learn to withdraw my thoughts, affections, desires and expectations entirely from the world, and may fix them upon the heavenly state, where there is fullness of joy; where reigns sweet, calm and delightful love without alloy; where there are continually the dearest expressions of this love; where there is enjoyment of this love without ever parting; and where those persons who appear so lovely in this world, will be inexpressibly more lovely, and full of love to us. How sweetly will those, who mutually love, join together in singing the praises of God and the Lamb. How full will it fill us with joy to think that this enjoyment, these sweet exercises, will never cease or come to an end, but will last to all eternity.

Paul said: Galatians 6:14 The world has been crucified to me, and I to the world…
15 what counts is a new creation.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

A Theology of Breasts

I apologize in advance to my readers if this entry makes you feel vulnerable or exposed. My goal is not that women would feel ogled or exploited, but rather properly esteemed and honored.

Our society has been said to be “breast-obsessed” and a biblical response is required. Breasts are used to promote and sell and seduce with great effectiveness and at great cost to both genders.

Proverbs 5:19 She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.

Breasts are intended for the sensual satisfaction of a husband. They are given to the wife as a gift she may share with her husband, that he might be captivated, enthralled, mesmerized, have every other thought flooded out of his head, except the overwhelming desire and satisfaction found in embracing his wife.

That which satisfies sexual desire is meant to remain between a man and his wife for their exclusive, mutual enjoyment which is a crucial element of love.

Proverbs 5:16 Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares?

Song of Solomon 1:13 My lover is like a sachet of myrrh lying between my breasts.

It is here that a man may feel accepted and delighted and at home. Here are the words of a man so comforted and enthralled all at the same time.

Song of Solomon 4:5 Your breasts are like two fawns, twin fawns of a gazelle grazing among the lilies.

If you were on a bus full of tourists and the driver of the bus came upon twin fawns, grazing among lilies, he would stop and point and everyone would take pictures. This is the attention, the joy and wonder, breasts are designed to attract. Here we see a picture of the beauty they are meant to provide to a husband. To abuse that purpose for any other gain; a flattering look from a stranger in order to boost self-esteem, political manipulation at the office, or to sell beer, is to distort and depreciate the good God intends. Our society has valued breasts, women, love too little.

Modesty and privacy and purity and sanctity promote holy joy between a husband and a wife. Properly valuing that experience of mutual pleasure helps us to understand the shared joy we may and must pursue with Christ. Satan knows just how to pervert and cheapen what God has made beautiful and our culture falls for his lies in droves.