Single and Satisfied?

Can life-contentment be attained in the ongoing absence of ultimate human intimacy?

1 Corinthians 7:7 I wish that all men were as I am. (content and engaged in life’s purpose, without having my pursuit of holiness sabotaged by the distress of longing for sexual intimacy.) But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

Paul is almost-undoubtedly single again - and satisfied. He is living independent of a sexual relationship and happy, even enviable and wishes we could all be just like him. But alas, that is impossible.

Paul states that the pursuit of a particular marital status should be determined by giftedness and not be seen as a matter of spiritual attainment. Paul wishes everyone could receive from God what is required to cheerfully lay aside the human sex-drive and be single and satisfied as opposed to being dependent upon regular holy sex in order to avoid immorality. However, part of the pursuit of holy joy for those who have not received this spiritual gift of sexless satisfaction, will include marriage.

1 Corinthians 7:5 Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

If you don’t have the gift of satisfied celibacy, you will suffer the results of unfulfilled desire, if and when you are not being satisfied by your spouse. Some of our relational needs God satisfies directly and some he satisfies by the use of means and when those means are removed, we will suffer. Suffering includes not being able to find or create a comfortable conclusion. It means wrestling and struggling with unmet desire. It brings us back to Christ and requires growth in our theology of suffering with-and-for Him.

1 Pe 4:13 But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.

Ro 5:2 …we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

1Pe 1:6 for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honour when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9 for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Can, or could the “all-satisfying” relationship with Christ subdue the sex drive? Can a human being attain this single and satisfied state by becoming more spiritual? In this world where things are not as they should be (James 3:10) the answer is. No. Knowing this will rescue us from the unrealistic guilt of “not being spiritual enough”. It should also cause us to know that without God’s provision of a spiritual gift, or a spouse, we will suffer. The fight for God-glorifying joy, requires choosing to suffer, when we must, with and for Christ.