For months I have been plagued by what I thought was anxiety, which one would expect I suppose, when one’s spouse has died and one is left with three children and a stove which is just as happy to cook fingers as well as frozen entrées.
But I have worked hard at ordering life and God has been good, so I have no real reason to be afraid. So this week, when another wave of what I thought was fear came over me, I stopped what I was doing and furiously typed what I was feeling.
As the words appeared on the screen, It became apparent that what I was feeling was grief: profoundly, painfully missing every detail of a relationship that the river of life has taken downstream.
C.S. Lewis was right, "No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear."
(A Grief Observed)
Ah Grief! It's you! You are so much more welcome in my life than fear. Fear can kill you. Fear can spiral into depression and anxious lethargy and make you wonder if you will ever get up, ever get out again. I am afraid of fear, but not grief. Grief leads to happiness.
Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
God blesses the griever, but He commands us not to fear.
Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
There is no blessing for those who fear only a slow drain of emotional energy that leaves us empty and faithless, but not grief. Grief brings us to God.
So, come Grief. Do your work. Break me and then make me. Wound me and then heal me. Lead me to blessedness that will last forever when God himself, no mediator, no emissary, no indirect means will comfort me, but God himself, the source of all comfort.
2 Corinthians 1:3 NLT
God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.
Ah Grief, come. Lead me there.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Seeking the Benefits of Love
Q. Who would be so bold as to encourage us to love, so that we could receive something in return?
A. Only someone who knows love perfectly.
But, aren’t we just supposed to love out of obedience, because Gods is love, because love is right and best and makes the world go around and sometimes because we just feel like it? Should we ever hope for some benefit, even be motivated by some advantage, some profit, when we love others?
Jesus said…
Luke 6:32 "If you love those who love you,… what credit… is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you,… what credit… is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment,… what credit… is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ lend to ‘sinners’, expecting to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then… your reward… will be great, and you will be… sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.
What should we expect if we love people and they do not love us back?
Credit, reward, sonship.
In order for love to be love, it must expect some benefit in return, if not from anyone else, then from God himself. We may like to think we are above all of that and are capable of loving selflessly, but even God does not love that way. God is full of self-interest in loving us. He never wants nothing in return. The greatest command is Love the lord your God with all your heart… (Matthew 22:37)
Here is someone who explains loving with benefit in mind even better.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKBAbtzMfE0
A. Only someone who knows love perfectly.
But, aren’t we just supposed to love out of obedience, because Gods is love, because love is right and best and makes the world go around and sometimes because we just feel like it? Should we ever hope for some benefit, even be motivated by some advantage, some profit, when we love others?
Jesus said…
Luke 6:32 "If you love those who love you,… what credit… is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you,… what credit… is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment,… what credit… is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ lend to ‘sinners’, expecting to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then… your reward… will be great, and you will be… sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.
What should we expect if we love people and they do not love us back?
Credit, reward, sonship.
In order for love to be love, it must expect some benefit in return, if not from anyone else, then from God himself. We may like to think we are above all of that and are capable of loving selflessly, but even God does not love that way. God is full of self-interest in loving us. He never wants nothing in return. The greatest command is Love the lord your God with all your heart… (Matthew 22:37)
Here is someone who explains loving with benefit in mind even better.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKBAbtzMfE0
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Your Only Helper
I have been through the grief process before so at least I am able to recognize the pattern this time. Sometimes it feels like it will never end. God breaks us and then makes us and then breaks us again. He takes us to the place where we wonder if he has any mercy, any compassion, or whether he has completely given up on us. Then he shows us the next step we need to take toward him, the ultimate resolution to all that we suffer.
Hosea 5:14 I will be like a lion to Israel, like a strong young lion to Judah. I will tear them to pieces! I will carry them off, and no one will be left to rescue them. 15 Then I will return to my place until they admit their guilt and turn to me. For as soon as trouble comes, they will earnestly search for me.” 6:1 “Come, let us return to the LORD. He has torn us to pieces; now he will heal us. He has injured us; now he will bandage our wounds…."
13:8 Like a bear whose cubs have been taken away, I will tear out your heart. I will devour you like a hungry lioness and mangle you like a wild animal.9 You are about to be destroyed, O Israel— yes, by me, your only helper.
Hosea 5:14 I will be like a lion to Israel, like a strong young lion to Judah. I will tear them to pieces! I will carry them off, and no one will be left to rescue them. 15 Then I will return to my place until they admit their guilt and turn to me. For as soon as trouble comes, they will earnestly search for me.” 6:1 “Come, let us return to the LORD. He has torn us to pieces; now he will heal us. He has injured us; now he will bandage our wounds…."
13:8 Like a bear whose cubs have been taken away, I will tear out your heart. I will devour you like a hungry lioness and mangle you like a wild animal.9 You are about to be destroyed, O Israel— yes, by me, your only helper.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Sorrowful Yet Always Rejoicing
I perceive that the grieving mind experiences three categories of passive thought. This is where the unengaged parts of the sorrowful soul naturally go: Missing. Feeling-alone. Hoping.
Hoping can be divided into two categories: temporal and eternal.
Temporal hope can be further broken down into 2 categories: spiritual and physical.
Temporal spiritual hope looks like this, and it seems reasonable that if one hopes for something, that one would also strive towards it.
1Ti 6:6 True godliness with contentment is itself great wealth.
Ps 23:1 The LORD is my shepherd; I have all that I need.
Ec 5:19b To enjoy your work and accept your lot in life––this is indeed a gift from God.
Heb 13:5 …be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."
Php. 4:11b I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
Contentment. Confidence. Capability. These are pretty good temporal hopes and goals. They are also exciting promises, especially considering the resource we have been given to fulfill them. We have been given God. John Piper quotes Jonathan Edwards in ‘Pierced By The Word”…
“The redeemed have all their objective good in God. God himself is the great good which they are brought to the possession and enjoyment of by redemption. He is the highest good and the sum of all that good which Christ purchased. God is the inheritance of the saints; he is the portion of their souls. God is their wealth and treasure, their food, their life, their dwelling place, their ornament and diadem and their everlasting honor and glory.”
With this truth firmly in mind, we may be those who are, “…sorrowful, yet always rejoicing…” (2 Co 6:10)
Hoping can be divided into two categories: temporal and eternal.
Temporal hope can be further broken down into 2 categories: spiritual and physical.
Temporal spiritual hope looks like this, and it seems reasonable that if one hopes for something, that one would also strive towards it.
1Ti 6:6 True godliness with contentment is itself great wealth.
Ps 23:1 The LORD is my shepherd; I have all that I need.
Ec 5:19b To enjoy your work and accept your lot in life––this is indeed a gift from God.
Heb 13:5 …be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."
Php. 4:11b I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
Contentment. Confidence. Capability. These are pretty good temporal hopes and goals. They are also exciting promises, especially considering the resource we have been given to fulfill them. We have been given God. John Piper quotes Jonathan Edwards in ‘Pierced By The Word”…
“The redeemed have all their objective good in God. God himself is the great good which they are brought to the possession and enjoyment of by redemption. He is the highest good and the sum of all that good which Christ purchased. God is the inheritance of the saints; he is the portion of their souls. God is their wealth and treasure, their food, their life, their dwelling place, their ornament and diadem and their everlasting honor and glory.”
With this truth firmly in mind, we may be those who are, “…sorrowful, yet always rejoicing…” (2 Co 6:10)
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