So! You’ve Decided To Leave The Church Part II

This is an email conversation that I post with permission that stems from the Monday, March 30, 2009 blog entitled, “So! You’ve Decided To Leave The Church”

Sent: Tuesday, March 31, 2009 12:40 PM

In response to your blog about leaving the church.... I didn't feel comfortable writing on the comments...

Wow, those are some harsh words! Where did this come from? Although I agree with what is written, I can't help but also point out the other side of "leaving a church." We have left a church that we spent many years at, to come to BCC. We found that the teaching/theology had shifted and we were not in agreement anymore. I have heard of others who have left previous churches because they felt "worn out" from ministry involvement and didn't know how else to "take a break". For others, their children had friends at other churches and being a mother of teens, I don't blame them for finding any way possible to encourage your children to be fed the word even if it means moving to a new church. This kind of falls into "finding a church that better meets their needs." I don't know if I am just too sensitive and that is why I found that blog rather harsh or if maybe it was meant to be a reprimand! Do you feel it is wrong to leave a church? If so, how come you explained that [situation regarding a family who left the church] like it was perfectly fine? Sorry for all the questions. You can ask ---, I ALWAYS need to understand things thoroughly and completely, it's just my nature.

Hey Sue
Great questions! And I'm glad you ask them.

I have also had to leave churches, as we all do from time to time.
I have always left with either a celebration or a sober talk with the leadership.
I have no problem with people leaving a church because of distance or changing family needs or some shift in church philosophy or teaching.

My only problem is with people who secretly pull out, without telling a soul so they can test the church to see if it was really loving or not. People then use their test-results to justify their departure to anyone who will listen.
"That church never really loved me anyway!"

I don't think this helps anyone. In my years in ministry I have spent a lot of time and emotional energy tracking down people to do an exit-interview who simply quit after years of attendance without saying a word. After 10 years of ministry here and having seen my share typical sin patterns showing up here I feel it is time to address some of them.

There are a few more to go. I don't want to be unnecessarily harsh, but in this case when people use the sheep rather than love the sheep, I feel compelled to protect the sheep even if it means being a little harsh. I say all of this as prevention, with no particular victim in mind. I say it as I evaluate us after 10 years and before I go on sabbatical.

Let me know what you think, if I'm still being a too harsh...
I hope it could be understood as a passion for the welfare of the people at BCC.

(Lu 10:29) But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?"

Andy,
Thank you for responding so quickly. Yes, I believe I have a better understanding of your blog now. As far as harshness, I am just a very sensitive sort ( I prefer to refer to it as my princess nature!) I can't even watch the news without it disturbing my sleep. I'm sure the majority of people would not have taken the blog the way I understood it. Thanks for clearing things up. Susan